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See See Rider......
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Date:2007-06-25 22:47

I'm posting to all the communities I'm involved with. I know I don't post at all anymore but I figured for those of you who would like to know my band's album is coming out tomorrow. So, if you want a copy be sure to let me know. It's only $10 and comes with a free 11x17 poster.

I am very excited. We've been working on this project for more than a year and a half. It hasn't hit me yet but I know when I finally get these cds out to the world I'll be totally blown away.

Thank you for all your support in my music habit.

Cheers to you all!


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Date:2007-03-12 21:26
Subject:what the hell is wrong with the music!?

So, how is it that "KIDZ BOP KIDS 11" gets #4 on the Billboard charts for top selling albums? Who's buying that recycled shit? Also, who was smart enough to figure how to market all that watered down pop music to 5 year olds? I wish I would have thought that up that crazy idea.

Cigarette time.

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Date:2007-01-15 02:34

I am really going through growing pains right now. Finally have some music that I'm happy with working on and bringing to the table. 3 new songs on the plate. I full meal deal. All I need is some dessert. I need about 5 servings of it too.

Gosh, I wish I had what it takes to put out all the music for my friends so that they could tour and sell their records through wonderful distribution. It's a crime that the music industry is such den of deep pocketed liars. When Paris Hilton has an album on the top 40 it's a crime worth crying for. Hulk Hogan's daughter is getting more recognition than legit artist and it's something sad. People settle for the simple pop tune. Somehow the mass majority has forgotten what beauty is. Love has been replaced by an MTV generation of double crossing relationships, sex, and sad gossip stories.

If all it took was heart I could start a label and put out my friend's records and get them proper distribution, put them on tour if they desired, give them a gorgeous studio space to create in, and let them do exactly what they were built to do. Trouble is that money is the dirty lurking criminal in the corner breathing down everyone's neck, whispering threats of jealousy and covetousness.

I know a handfull of bands and friends I wish could have that oportunity. If only money wasn't the issue. Isn't money always the issue? Maybe not but it often gets in the way of life. The paper I exchange every day rules many of my every day activities.

I am a bookstore manager. I make $7.50 an hour. I had to rent a car for the 5 shows I played this weekend which ran me $125.00 I don't make money at these shows. The t-shirts I sell at these shows help me pay off the $800-some that I spent on having t-shirts made in the first place. I pay for my gas to Portland, Vancouver, Salem and back to Corvallis. I don't have the spending cash to set aside. Venues just don't pay. Somehow it's just not a lucrative business to support small artists. I pay to play. I literally pay out of my pocket to share my passion.

I am a musician, an artist, and a poet. I have a heart and I have something to offer. Can that for just this once be enough?

It's about time that those words are heard!

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Date:2007-01-04 14:09

I have alot I could really complain about but I'd rather spare you.

Television is bullshit. I'd rather not even go there.
Radio is bullshit. College radio is even further down the tubes than ever before. The days of timeless music are passing. Nowdays everyone will settle for party music and anything with a beat that they can dance to. It's rare that I find anything that really moves me that wasn't made after 1972. Maybe I'm better off that I stopped listening to radio. NPR is the only thing that settles my stomach after a strong cup of coffee.

Southern California consumer lifestyle is totally infiltrating the Northwest. Thank you SUV society for invading. You're the worst immagrant!

I'm better off an Oregonian.

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Date:2006-11-17 15:48
Subject:PLAYSTATION 3!!!

I went to best buy and bought 2 playstation 3 video game systems!!! I just sold one of them buy it now on ebay for $4,500!!!! I totally made sick cash and now I'm gonna blow all the money I made on cheap vodka and cigarttes!

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Date:2006-11-01 21:21
Subject:no one really knows the honest truth...

Sick and tired of the bull.

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Date:2006-10-28 11:04

So, all I have to say is "screw you" to the people who don't celebrate holloween because they are so holy and above reproach to celebrate giving cute little kids in costumes candy.

Take your self concious values and toss them and adopt something that will really make a difference.

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Date:2006-10-05 11:19

what to do...

Somehow I can never get things off the ground. There's always some stopping force.

My confidence is really lacking. I'm totally dependent.

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Date:2006-09-23 14:43

I read the Rolling Stone article about Bob Dylan and it made me want to meet him even more.

"perhaps the most arresting moment of the story finds Dylan — just before the release of his own latest album, Modern Times — calling the audio quality of modern records “atrocious.”

“They have sound all over them,” Dylan says.

There’s no definition of nothing, no vocal, no nothing, just like — static. Even these songs probably sounded ten times better in the studio when we recorded ‘em. CDs are small. There’s no stature to it. I remember when that Napster guy came up across, it was like, ‘Everybody’s gettin’ music for free.’ I was like, ‘Well, why not? It ain’t worth nothing anyway.’"


while watching new bob dylan clips on youtube came across two comments that made me laugh.

1st person: I think it's unbelievable that Dylan still sounds relevant and fresh at age 65...
2nd person: Fresh, yes. Relevant? No.

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Date:2006-09-20 07:52

Hey everyone ~

Up early to deliver the papers. I got to watch the fog in the valley rise. It made me wonder what NW Corvallis looked like before I was born, before we were here. It made me want to know what that early morning silence was like. The wetlands are loving this weather right now, and so am I. Autumn changed the other day and so did everything else. I love this time of year and it's only just begun.

I went to the Towne Lounge two nights ago with Chelsea. Mike Santillan showed up. Everyone else bailed and ended up missing an incredible show! Too bad for you.....seriously. Maritime sounded nothing short of AMAIZING!!! I was all smiles. Davey and Dan were really nice to me. It's always so good to see Davey. He called me his friend and told me to keep in touch. What a great guy. I am blessed to be able to listen to music by a band like that. They are the exact opposite of that token rock and roll scene. Their attitudes are tuned. Their hearts are honest. It's really refreshing to see. Even better they sounded great and Davey danced. Man that guy can rock out. Dan beats the crap outta his drums. Guitarist Dan sounded amazing too. He was obviously the gear/tone nerd in the group. Every group has to have one of those.

Davey says that his old side project "VERMONT" expects to do a live performance for a website in Iowa called Daytrotter. Maritime did their own day session their that was pretty great.

Anyway, I'm gonna go get up now. I've got important things to do.

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Date:2006-09-09 11:42

deciding what concerts to go to and not to go to is going to be tough for October...

Maritime: 9-18 ~ $8.00
Sufjan Stevens: 10-13 ~ $26.00
Bob Dylan: 10-14 ~ $50.50
Mew: 10-17 ~ $12.00

So far I've decided I'm definetly going to 3 of the concerts.

Maritime is a given. Bob Dylan is a bone cruncher...but worth every penny cause it's Dylan. Mew is one of those bands I just have to go see cause my brother would kill me if I didn't go. Sufjan.....man, why are your tickets $26? Jeez.

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Date:2006-08-25 12:56

So, the lady working at the nutrition store today brought her 3 kids to work today. 2 of them have not stopped their heavy running between the two stores making noise, screaming, and laughing for the last 2 hours. The lack of discipline that the parent has is something to want to cringe at! Even worse they are homeschool children! I think the little girl is afraid of me too...she keeps walking into the bookstore every half hour or so and becomes deadly silent, and just kinda stares me down when she walks past. I smile and say hello but there is no reply. AUGH! When is 5:30 gonna be here so I can go home and get away from work? These conservative christians are driving me crazy damnit!!!

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Date:2006-08-24 12:21

My brother bought Thom Yorke ~ The Eraser. I don't find it as moving as a straight Radiohead album, but the tones on the album are pretty incredible. Some of the songs have some real spirit.

So, I don't know what to say. I miss my Los Angeles friends. I wish those parson kids lived closer. Trying not to be so stressed lately. I go on vacation tomorrow night for five days. It'll be good to get away and go do something that is just relaxing and freedom from life at home.

I need to write new songs. Trouble is I have a vicious case of writers block. I pick up the guitar and get discouraged. I know everyone who writes goes through it. I need to just get past it and keep on moving. I'll get it figured out.

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Date:2006-08-21 14:49

I love that the 80's are so kick ass when it comes to video games. We by far had the best toys out of any generation.

Check out this band: They cover a song from Mega Man 2 (if you don't know what that is then I guess you just aren't cool enough):


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Date:2006-08-01 06:03

I bought some used CDs at the bookbin. Apparently someone sold nearly their entire indie rock collection to the store. They were hawking all this brand new cds with no scratches for $2-3. Amazing! I'm close to broke but somehow spent $50 on cds. Here's my find:

1. Smashing Pumpkins: Melancholy and the Infinte Sadness
2. Pavement: Terror Twilight
3. Starflyer 59: Americana
4. Starlight Mints: The Dream That Stuff Was Made Of
5. Centro-Matic: Navigational
6. Centro-Matic: The Static VS The Strings Vol. 1
7. Deathray: Deathray
8. Built To Spill: Ultimate Alternative Waivers
9. Built to Spill Caustic Resin: (split EP)
10.Modest Mouse: Interstate 8 (WAY OUTTA PRINT EP!!!)
11.Heatmiser: Mic City Sons
12.Sondre Lerche: Don't Be Shallow
13.The Folk Implosion: The New Folk Implosion
14.That Dog: Retreat From The Sun
15.Creeper Lagoon: Take Back The Universe And Give Me Yesterday
16.Brendan Benson: One Mississippi

I got 2 other cds that I can't remeber what they were. Bummer

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Date:2006-07-30 17:13

when I cannot sing my heart
I can only speak my mind

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Date:2006-07-30 03:16
Subject:It has to be uphill from here...

It really does.

This week was an incredible accomplishment. I went to 3 weddings in two days and made it to everywhere without hurting anyone's feelings which was the point. I wanted to make everyone feel like I thought of them and found them important. My friends are wonderful. They are a blessing. Everything really held together well this week, and somehow I knew it would. It always does.

So now I'm broke as hell. Spent a good $100 on gas this week to get PAs to weddings and to get to Brian and Amy's to practice for music at Ben and Mallory's wedding. It's all over and done now which is a relief. Tuesday, drive to Eugene to practice, spend the night at Brian and Amy's, Wednesday get the PA and drive to Salem to drop it off, pick up another PA, drive it to Corvallis, wake up Thursday to drive back to Salem to rehearsal, spend the night in Stayton, Friday's two weddings in Salem, drive home to Corvallis, drive back up North of Monmouth for wedding number 3 on Saturday. I'm exhausted.

I hurt my heal when going to the river Friday and I've looked like a cripple since. My foot hurts, alot. I don't like it when people feel sorry for me. I've tried a walk it off mentality and it just hasn't been good for my poor foot. It's just been really painful. Walking isn't a load of fun.

It's hard to play a wedding and bust out a whole bunch and work your ass off to make things happen for people just so they don't feel let down. It's really takes alot out of you. Brian seemed frustrated that we worked all that much for a gift of a zippo lighter. Something that would inevitably sit in a drawer and occasionally light candles or cigarettes. More of a novelty than anything.

Today was a long day. A day of ex's. EVERYONE's ex's.....so it seems. B. Hall asked me why I was going to the wedding today. It's a question I ask myself now. Sometimes you sacrifice in order to let other people know that you find their friendship valuable. Something like that. It was a weird sight to see. It isn't the easiest thing to run into a ton of people you wish you wouldn't have seen or that you don't share common ground with. High school folks, tons of people from all over, different circles. No one I ever gave a the time of day for. Younger people than me pregnant. Couples married that you never knew ever got married and you wonder how the hell that it all happend. So in short, or in long I should say, we went to Casey and Lauren's wedding after wrapping things up with the other two weddings from the day before. It was awkward. It was difficult. It was a big giant awkward fest. At one time, Chelsea once spent alot of time with Casey, I guess they were dating or something. Beats me to what happened. I don't really talk about it much. I brought up Casey on our first date as small talk and called him "31 flavors" because the poor guy had a new girlfriend every other month so it seemed. He's dated more girls than I can count and really ended up hurting a whole lot of people. It's just careless, but I forgive the guy. He really is a nice guy. It just is a whole weird load of a mess. It was difficult because there were people who kept on seeing Chelsea and me saying, "jeez, last time we saw you you were with Casey....*awkward silence followed by a laugh*. To make matters more incredible Margaux was there. I don't think she expected me to have a girl at my side. It was awkward introductions and weird conversations the whole night. Lots of wishing I could have left. It was just really horrible watching Chelsea watching the wedding, the ceramony, the way Lauren and Casey danced wondering what it could have been like if that could have been her in Lauren's shoes. It was just difficult to watch Chelsea looking at the newly married couple dancing and wondering what she's thinking. I have dried up confidence. I can't dance. It made me really feel like a second best. I walked into a brick wall this evening and spared my nose but hurt my heart. I ended up at the open bar drinking wine and smoking cigarettes by the car with Mark Cleaver. Looked to talk about music, The Kinks write wonderful tunes. I reccomend the song "Waterloo Sunset". I think it's the most gorgeous tune Mr. Davies of the Kinks ever wrote. I tried to really avoid thinking or even feeling because all I could really do is wonder. It made my heart sink.

I need to get some sleep because I'm just tired. Prayed alot this week to try and get through. William looks like he got a job. I'm SO thrilled for him. Brian and Brianna are married. Pleased beyond all belief! Ben and Mallory are together as well. It's good to see. I love them all very much.

It's just been a tough week with a very difficult ending. I left Chelsea's house with a heavy heart tonight and ended up washing it down with a Beck's 24oz and a cigarette on the top of the hill, talking to my brother. He's a good kid. I'm glad to have him there for me. He's always been a good friend to me.

To top this whole load of bullshit off I have a 5 day workweek this next week. Sarah left a note on my bed about how Beverly doesn't do anything at the bookstore. I'm totally aware of this. It's a frustration that plagues me every day that I work or don't work. If I work I have to fix everything Bev screwed up, and if I don't work I have to endure 3-5 phone calls a day from her cause she has the memory of a mouse. I went to Book Bin in Corvallis today and was jealous of the fine bookstore that they get to work in. It's frustrating. So frustrating.

I tried to listen to my Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young records tonight but it turns out my fucking turntable is broken and slows down randomly. I got so frustrated I nearly broke down. I'm going to go to sleep.

I also finally checked my voicemail for my mobile. 28 messages in less than 72hrs. I am taking a day off from my phone. I need a day to not stress out.
I need an alone day. Tomorrow is officially my alone day.

I'm sick and tired of my heavy heart.

It's difficult to hope. Faith is even more difficult.

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Date:2006-07-26 08:38

Lots to do today. Lots lots lots. i woke up at 7:30 too wound up to sleep. YeAH!

Go go go. Get things done.

I've got a lot of driving to do today.

Too much driving to do today.

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Date:2006-07-25 13:35

wow...my stomach hurts today. I am stressed out.

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Date:2006-07-24 19:05

My dad had a wonderful birthday yesterday. When he says he'd rather spend his birthday with his two sons and wife more than anyone I know I can believe him. What a good friend.

We went to the coast where it was only 76 degrees in comparison to Corvallis' 108. Damn.

Can we get some sweater weather soon? i NEED it. I am Norwegian. I wasn't built for tropical weather.

Trying to finish writing songs for Ben and Mallory's wedding. I have to be done with the lyrics tonight. The music is complete. Lyrics are always the hardest because you always want to do your best to write something meaningful.

My body is tired. It's rare that I really find a free moment. It's rare that I find alone time.

I'm constantly exhausted.

Wondering about alot of things lately. I hate to worry. I have difficulty dreaming even.

I played a show last week at Sahalie and started crying in the middle of a song. I feel vulnerable. It hasn't been easy lately. It just hasn't.

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